I apologize for not writing sooner, Jo is doing fine, no setbacks to speak of, he is his usual strong and steady warrior. He is amazing.
I can't describe the pain I've felt lately. Seeing my son in bed day after day just has a way of slowly crushing your spirit. I pray often, cry even more, and try to match the strength my son has shown me the past 5 months. My wife is amazing, but at times are eyes meet and the desperation shows. It is rare that tears don't well in our eyes when talking about Jo, it just hurts so much.
Jo continues to show progress in his recovery. He shows amazing strength and determination with PT and has increased his ability to sit up to over 15 minutes. He is clearly uncomfortable at first, but he fights through, stabilizes, and amazes us each time. It can be difficult at times to recognize the substantial improvements Jo has made when you see him every day. Anyone who visited Jo just a few months ago would tell you his progress is astounding, but as parents it is painfully slow.
I still have a hard time looking at his pictures. My daughter was watching some of his youtube videos the other day and heard his voice from across the room, instead of lifting me up it brought me to tears.
Summer has gone and fall is beautiful in the PacWest. Jo loved this time of year as well, he is the only kid his age I've seen genuinely in awe of the beauty of nature. He would look at a tree with changing leaves and tell his mom "isn't it pretty", not common for a 12 year old boy. Jo is so special, just like all of our children, without him we are simply not whole.
In our house we laugh, have fun, and are often happy despite our situation. God gives us strength enough to make sure the rest of our family doesn't mope around and wallow in our thoughts of better days. What is most obviously missing from our life is true JOY. You know, those rare moments that you stop, look at your family and life, and reflect on how lucky you are and smile. There is always a lingering feeling of helplessness that takes constant restraint to overcome.
On a light note Jo has been smiling more. It is magic to see, and it lifts us up so high when he smiles. His favorite thing to smile about is anyone making fun of his dad, some things never change. I am also guaranteed a smile when I dab. That's right dab! You see I'm not good at it, neither is mom, and it's easy to see why he finds it funny. Before this tragedy he would have laughed out loud to see us try that, I pray someday soon we will hear the laugh that comes with that intoxicating smile.
I'm back at work and have never felt more humble. I can't say how many people have hugged me back to life. I've done my fair share of turning handshakes into hugs, please accept my apology and don't report me, but a handshake just doesn't feel right. The amazing support around me and my family is still surrounding us and doing even more to make our lives better and Jo's recovery more attainable. I will post a flyer for an upcoming fundraiser benefit for Jo in this blog. If you can find the time to swing by and say hi we would be so touched. So many have already done so much, we could never explain how special that makes us feel.
Please keep praying for Jo and our family. The deep sadness comes in waves, and for my wife and I the past few days have been especially hard. We dream of Jo talking, walking, and playing and don't ever want to wake up. When we do it is hard to get up and begin the day. With the support of our friends, family, and God's love we power through the bad days with hope and faith in the future. We could not do it with each of you, thank you does not begin to express our gratitude.
Jojobinks keep being strong and healing. You are a miracle, every day you come one step closer to us. Life without you is unbearable at times but we will be patient and be right here waiting. We love you to the moon and back sweet angel. YOU'VE GOT THIS!!